So of late I’ve been dating this Somali queen.

I remember one time we had agreed to meet after mosque for a quick lunch date. Simple plan, right? Kumbe life had prepared a small practical exam for me.

Madam arrived with her sister.

Now, that wasn’t even the problem. The real issue was that both of them were dressed in black buibuis that covered absolutely everything except their eyes.

Bwana, at that point hata sikujua wangu ni mgani.

Immediately I was forced to reduce the usage of the word “babe.” Kidogo makosa ifanyike, nishtukie nimeita “Babe” mwenye si “Babe” while the actual “Babe” is standing right there. Hiyo ni confusion yenye hata relationship insurance haiwezi cover.

So I had to tread very carefully.

Fortunately, that day I was cruising in a Silver Mercedes GLC 250, 2018 model. A very clean, sleek, neck-breaking unit kutoka kwa plugs wetu wa kawaida pale Epic Travels.

Then akili ikanitembelea.

Instead of asking awkward questions and exposing myself, I simply decided to play the gentleman card. Nikatangulia mbele, nikafungua co-driver’s door like the well-raised man my mother believes I am.

Then nikangoja.

The one who stepped forward and sat in the front passenger seat…

Huyo ndiye alikuwa wangu.

Akili watu wangu! 🤣

Problem solved without a single question.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, that’s how I escaped what could have been one of the most explosive moments of my dating career.

But to date, I still wonder whether it was a genuine coincidence that both of them showed up dressed exactly the same and covered beyond recognition…

…or whether the sisters had held a board meeting somewhere and decided, “Leo tuone kama huyu kijana anajua mwenye anadate.” 😂