Being a Wednesday, I decided to take baby girl out for a small treat. She’s Muslim, so naturally the spots I picked were those places that sell nyama and pombe, zile vitu haram. The strategy was simple: budget reduction kupitia religion. She’d only order coffee because half the menu was off-limits, then as a supportive boyfriend I’d order the same.
Deep down, I know I should replace “supportive boyfriend” with “broke boyfriend”, but at least the heart was willing. It’s just the pockets that had other ideas and masterminded the entire operation.
Anyway, immediately after we finished, mvua ikaanza kunyesha. Then madam casually suggested that instead of taking an Uber, I should call my plugs at Epic Travels watupatie gari because apparently she loves seeing me drive.
Nkt. Con-woman that one! 🤣
The problem is, mbele nyuma nilikuwa na Fuliza, and we’d already assaulted the remaining balance with Coffee Lattes. By then my limit ilikuwa imebaki kama 1,500 bob. Nikafungua epictravels.co.ke and luckily there were some affordable options. Around 4k unaweza pata ka-gari kadogo. Nikajiambia nikidownload Tala ama Branch nijaze hiyo 2,500, si tunafika home comfortably.
Lakini watu wangu, there is some crucial information nobody ever told me about iPhones.
Loan apps don’t like iPhones!
Imagine my iPhone 15 Pro Max, Gold Edition, limited edition, bought with my own hard-earned money, cannot install Tala. 😭
I even tried changing locations, VPN, kila kitu. Nikasema labda nikipeleka simu Taptelengei virtually, nitabonyeza computer kama ule jamaa alisema nipate dollars. Kumbe hiyo nayo ni scam nyingine.
At that point, instead of saying “sina pesa”, I had to activate corporate language and announce that “the banks are currently experiencing technical issues.” 🤦♂️
As we speak, tumesimama hapa kwa line ya Super Metro tukingoja Matatu, mvua nayo inatuchapa kama watu waliokosea maisha…I swear being broke should be declared illegal!!!
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